Porterism Law #3 There aren’t a lot of laws to Po…

Porterism Law #3

There aren’t a lot of laws to Porterism for a couple of reasons, first of all because I don’t think that a lot of things don’t need to be said. If you need to be told not to kill, then I don’t think that anything that I’m going to say is going to change your mind. Besides, there are times when you have to kill, either for self-defense, or defense of your ideals (when you go to war, for example), or sometimes even for fun. Hell, if you can’t kill someone now and again for kicks, life ain’t worth living, that’s what I say. But if you take down nothing else from what I have been talking about for so long, then take down this.

NO FUNDAMENTALISM!

Fundamentalism is repugnant, and completely without logic. If I tell you that everything I say is the do-or-die truth, then it stands to reason that I don’t have to tell you anything, since it is already a self-evident truth. In other words, why do I have to convince you of anything if I am right about anything? Why would I give a shit? I think you all know me well enough by now that I don’t.

I am confident that I have some good and valid arguments about some of the things I write about, even some of the more obviously outrageous things. For example, when I say that setting someone on fire and killing him is better than setting him on fire and letting him live, I mean that. Some people might say that it is best not to set him on fire at all, but I probably didn’t hear that; I was too busy looking for matches. Besides, how do you know that not setting a man on fire (or stabbing him in the balls or throwing him off a cliff) is the “best” scenario? You don’t. You just assume that harmony and non-violence is the best policy without any evidence to back it up. I’m not condoning violence. I’m just saying that violence is always an option.

Is this the best thing for this guy? Who knows?

But getting back to the fundamentalism thing. Fundamentalists never fail in one key thing: making themselves look stupid. When the fundamentalists proclaimed the Earth flat look what happened. When the fundamentalists claimed the sun revolved around the Earth, look what happened. Now when the fundamentalists claim that we didn’t descend from cavemen, what are we supposed to say? Now I know we were wrong about the Earth and all that, but I swear absolutely this time we got it right. Bullshit. Nobody has it right. Not you, not me, not anyone. Nor should we always have it right. If we knew everything, our humanity would cease. Chasing down mysteries is what makes us who we are. If I think that I have all the answers and I exist just to regurgitate them to you, trust me, I wouldn’t be writing this blog to a few of my co-workers and some rednecks in North Carolina. I’d be hanging from the business end of a noose.

Never assume that I’m right. Just accept that I’m interesting.

~ by porterism on August 14, 2006.