Dead to the World By now, with the cock-knock…

Dead to the World


By now, with the cock-knocking robots and the chainsaw fights and the absence of traffic laws, people should be ready for just about anything. And what they should be ready for is zombies.

For God’s sake, we can put a man on the moon, build a nuclear bomb, clone a sheep, but we can’t re-animate the dead. Somebody is not doing their goddamn job.

Or are they? It has already started, as evidenced by this article on news.com. I admit it is a good start, but are they really going to use this technology to benefit mankind? What on earth for? Aren’t there any vindictive scientists left in this world?

Think of it this way… what do people collectively fear the most? Death, of course. But when the dead come crawling out of their graves, that instills a much greater fear than anything we could ever possibly imagine, because that throws our whole notions of afterlife, religion, and morality into flux. Dying is bad enough… but dying and then returning to mindlessly feast upon your loved ones? Hot damn.

The real question of course, is what kind of zombies? George Romero, the godfather of modern zombie folklore is very clear… slow-moving, rudimentary intelligent beings that can only die via injury to the brain. This is satisfying for me, although at least a few of the zombies should resemble the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake, fast moving, strong, ready to eat anything that gets in its way. Anything to keep you guessing.

It’s fair to note that I don’t think every dead body should be re-animated. Maybe one out of every ten or so. Let’s not try to make the odds insurmountable, the idea is to have a constant presence of zombies around at all times… not because of any specific reason, but just because zombies are way cool, and we as a species will finally have a united stance against something. No more fighting each other, we’re hip deep in the flesh-eating undead!

~ by porterism on July 10, 2006.